Deanne Moulden

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Coming to you from Rockingham IPL Radio. Hi, and welcome to IPL Radio. You're listening to Mish on Good Vibrations in the podcast room today. And I have with me Deanne. Hi, Deanne. [00:00:13] Speaker B: Hi, Mish. [00:00:14] Speaker A: How are you? I'm good. How are you? [00:00:16] Speaker B: I'm doing well, thank you. [00:00:16] Speaker A: It's been ages since we've sat down and spoke. [00:00:18] Speaker B: It has. [00:00:18] Speaker A: It's been a while because it's been. I had eight months off from the radio and then I can't remember. How many times have you been to the studio before? I think you must have. [00:00:28] Speaker B: I don't know if we've recorded here, [00:00:30] Speaker A: but I've been here on the radio. With me. Yeah, you must have. [00:00:35] Speaker B: We were getting together once a month for a while then. [00:00:37] Speaker A: Yeah. So it must have been here. But this is. The rooms are changing a lot because we're still. Still a work in progress. So. So this is our new podcast room at IPO Radio. So every Thursday I'm recording podcasts because I want to get people's stories out there and it doesn't matter what the story is. It can be anything. But I just want people to be heard. That's the main thing. Beautiful. So we discussed what we were going to talk about this morning. We're going to talk about community. What does community mean to you? [00:01:05] Speaker B: It's interesting because community growing up is your family, isn't it? And then we become adults, become very independent, and particularly in these times, we've become more distant. [00:01:15] Speaker A: Yeah. Why do we do that? [00:01:17] Speaker B: I think it's got a lot to do with the digital world. [00:01:20] Speaker A: Do you think? [00:01:21] Speaker B: Because people are accessing everything they need from at their fingertips. [00:01:24] Speaker A: True. [00:01:24] Speaker B: They're not needing to go out. No one goes to post office and pays for their bills anymore. You know, that kind of thing. And another thing that's happening, particularly in Australia, is that housing doesn't even have backyards anymore. [00:01:38] Speaker A: No, I know. [00:01:39] Speaker B: Kids are indoors on their computers, gaming and to the point where they don't even know even phones anybody anymore. It's all text messages. [00:01:47] Speaker A: It is text messages. [00:01:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:01:50] Speaker A: I must admit I hesitate calling somebody only because I think that I'm gonna interrupt them or be a nuisance. But really they have the option whether they're pick up the phone or not, aren't they? [00:02:00] Speaker B: That's right. And you can leave a voicemail even. At least it's your voice so much as misconstrued in text as well. [00:02:06] Speaker A: Definitely. There's no emotion in a text. People can read it totally the wrong way. [00:02:10] Speaker B: I've actually sent a text before with a smiley face on the end and got an abusive message back, so. And don't put a smiley face at the end of that either. [00:02:17] Speaker A: Are you joking? They're having a bad day. [00:02:23] Speaker B: But I did hear on the radio recently that there's a loneliness endemic. [00:02:28] Speaker A: It was an endemic. [00:02:30] Speaker B: Not quite as bad as a pandemic. [00:02:31] Speaker A: Okay, great. That's nice to know. Yeah. [00:02:34] Speaker B: In Australia, they've declared a loneliness endemic. [00:02:37] Speaker A: And we can put that down to digital age. As you say, no backyards. I find it amazing when. Because I take the dog out every day, and even when you go to a park these days, there's no kids. [00:02:51] Speaker B: No kids. [00:02:52] Speaker A: I find it absolutely fills my heart when I see children outside playing. Because you don't see that anymore. [00:02:58] Speaker B: Yeah, Especially when there's no backyards. There should be more. [00:03:01] Speaker A: There should be more. And you know, back in our day, we were always outside. I mean, I was brought up in England, but we were still always outside. Okay. We didn't have the digital, you know, video games or anything like that. But as you said, people communicate or get their social interaction back in air day. From going to the post office to pay your bills. I remember living in the country up until recently, actually living in the country and going down to get some milk. I think I was there for two hours because everyone stops to say hello. People don't do that anymore here. That's in a country, in a small town. But we miss that interaction. We can go down the street walking the dog and no one will say hello. No one even looks you in the eye anymore. [00:03:48] Speaker B: No. [00:03:50] Speaker A: They're scared of getting some retaliation. I don't know what it is they're scared of. I say hello to everybody and people get quite shocked, I think. But from my point of view, just smiling at someone and saying hello can make someone's day. [00:04:03] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:04:04] Speaker A: It can make their life. It can change that one person's look at life just with that one thing you say or do. I've gone off track a little bit, but. So we're talking about digital age. I totally agree with the fact that even when my husband's home, we literally will sit on the same couch on our own phones and no communication whatsoever, which is bad. [00:04:29] Speaker B: I see that on public transport. [00:04:31] Speaker A: You do? Yeah. You can go on public transport and everybody's on their phone. [00:04:34] Speaker B: I went to Rottnest, held a retreat there. And I went there for a day trip just to get my surroundings, you know, understand the surroundings and what I was gonna. How I was gonna play out the whole retreat. [00:04:45] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:04:46] Speaker B: And people there were on holiday. [00:04:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:04:48] Speaker B: And there were teenagers sitting on the grass with their phones out. But they're at Rottnest island, this beautiful island with quokkas everywhere. [00:04:57] Speaker A: Wow. [00:04:57] Speaker B: And they're sitting there on their phones, [00:04:58] Speaker A: on the grass, on social media. Yeah. [00:05:00] Speaker B: I thought, do you know where you are? [00:05:02] Speaker A: Yeah. It's sad. And you also. I recently went to and everybody is watching a concert through their phone. [00:05:11] Speaker B: Yes. [00:05:12] Speaker A: You're here. Put the phone down. Enjoy. I go to a concert because I want to be in the environment. I want to be in the excitement, in the atmosphere. I can watch that concert on a TV show if I want to, but I want to be there. I want to feel it. You're not going to feel it when you're behind on a phone. It's just ridiculous. [00:05:30] Speaker B: Two things to say to that. One is the phone thing. I've got a lot of local bands that are friends and stuff. So when I'm going to a gig, I'll go live on Facebook and I'll film them to promote them. But I've got the phone alongside me. [00:05:43] Speaker A: That's right. [00:05:44] Speaker B: Viewing it myself. [00:05:44] Speaker A: You're still enjoying it. [00:05:46] Speaker B: Through my own eyes and not my phone. The other thing about live music events is that is a community. [00:05:53] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. [00:05:55] Speaker B: The first live music event I went to, after all the lockdowns and pandemics, when everybody was singing together the one song, I started crying with joy because it was. There was so much separation leading up to that. [00:06:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:06:09] Speaker B: And in that one moment, I was like, thank you. We're still bonding. And. Yeah. [00:06:15] Speaker A: So where do people find their community these days? Some people will say they find their community through social media, and that's fine. There are people out there who, for medical reasons or psychological reasons, can't leave the home, and that's totally fine. So for them, they are socializing by being on their phone. And for some people, that's their only option. Right. [00:06:45] Speaker B: It's great that it's there for them. [00:06:46] Speaker A: Exactly. Because back in Ed, you know, back in the day, we didn't have that. So you never communicated with anybody unless you had a phone? Of course. But that's a minority. That's a minority of people. For most people, we are able to walk outside the front door. What does that entail? Now, from my point of view, I suffer from anxiety, so stepping outside my front door and going into something that is totally new to me is scary. As you know what, that would put me into a spin. So there's that side of the coin. Right. The other side of the coin is people can be overly social. What does that mean? [00:07:42] Speaker B: You mean invading personal space? [00:07:44] Speaker A: Invading personal space. That can be digitally as well. You get that too. You get scammers on your digital phone. You get people messaging you that. Don't feel safe or they're not, they're not messaging you in a. In a form that you would be happy to communicate with. So there's that, then there's. Okay, then there's community that we can go out to. There's something for everybody out there. [00:08:21] Speaker B: There is. [00:08:22] Speaker A: There is something for everybody. [00:08:24] Speaker B: There's social groups, there's community gardens, there's. If you really look, you'll find something. [00:08:30] Speaker A: If you look, you will find. The problem is though, you've got to sort of figure out what it is you like. [00:08:37] Speaker B: That's. [00:08:38] Speaker A: That's hard. [00:08:39] Speaker B: It is. [00:08:39] Speaker A: That's really hard. Because as for me as a mother of now married children and I don't have the children at home anymore, I've lost myself. So I've forgotten what I like. I'm now having to build that up again. But then on the other side, what I liked back in my 20s might not necessarily be what I like now. Anyway. [00:09:01] Speaker B: Values change too as you get older. [00:09:02] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. [00:09:03] Speaker B: Community was never a value of mine. [00:09:05] Speaker A: It's right up there. That's huge. Yeah. Well, for you, community is not only a social thing, but it's also your livelihood. Right. That's the other. [00:09:15] Speaker B: That's the other thing that became that because. [00:09:18] Speaker A: Correct. There's a need for itself there. That's where it comes from. Yeah, that's the important thing. The fact that you're gaining an income from something that you not only love, but you love to offer other people because you can see a change in them. Yeah, I think I've gone off track a little bit, as I usually do. But so what is community? Community for me is being part of something that I'm comfortable to be in. [00:09:50] Speaker B: Yeah, it's like an extended family. Ipl. [00:09:53] Speaker A: IPL to me is my extended family. Because I feel non judged here. I can be myself and if I'm having a bad day, that's okay. I'm not judged here. [00:10:04] Speaker B: It's the same with the centre, the practitioners that work there, the people that come in, we all feel like family. [00:10:10] Speaker A: Family, exactly. And that's important. It's very important. And as you brought up in the very beginning, when we were younger, community was family. So it hasn't changed. It's just your community has it looks different. Right. So there's something out there for everyone. How do you find that community? Well, there comes social media. So that's. Although the Internet, at least the Internet, I should say, Internet social media. You can go to the library, you can go to the local council or shire buildings. Shopping centres usually have posters up of things that are happening around the place. Talking, talking to people. [00:10:50] Speaker B: Like you said before, just a smile and a hello can create that. [00:10:54] Speaker A: But if you, if there's something that you want to do and you may talk to someone, say, oh yeah, I'd really like to do some drumming. And they'll go, oh, by the way, there's a course that I, you know, that I know about or my friend did that. That's how. That's how it starts as well. But then again that's communication. Face to face communication, which is. Lack of that lately. But yeah, so there is someone out there for everybody. What do you like to do? What's your community dm? [00:11:22] Speaker B: That's a great question. Because it. It's adaptable. [00:11:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:26] Speaker B: Like I suggested, I love live music and I'm actually going to Blues at Bridgetown this weekend, which I do every year. And it's a whole bunch of the same people that head down for that. So that's one community. The live music scene. There's obviously the spiritual wellness people that I know, which we don't necessarily get together all the time, but there is that sense of community as well. We also support each other. Yep. I love the work I'm doing from the center. The women's circles are a great option. There's men's groups now. [00:11:54] Speaker A: Yeah, that's right. Which is wonderful. [00:11:57] Speaker B: So, yeah, anything to do with spiritual personal growth is probably my biggest passion and that's where I would be seeking. [00:12:05] Speaker A: Is it okay for us to talk [00:12:07] Speaker B: about how that started my journey? [00:12:09] Speaker A: Yeah. Is that all right? Yeah. [00:12:11] Speaker B: Well, it actually comes from loneliness. [00:12:12] Speaker A: Okay. Okay, great. [00:12:13] Speaker B: Well, when I say loneliness, I felt different to everybody else and not accepted anywhere. And that created my own separation and depression ultimately. So I suffered from depression most of my life and that's obviously where most of my passion has come from. Once I found solutions to that, I started sharing it with other people. We don't want them to suffer. Pass it on. [00:12:40] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:41] Speaker B: So initially that connection that I needed was with Source Spirit when we're disconnected. [00:12:48] Speaker A: How did you find that that's what it was that you were looking for, though? [00:12:51] Speaker B: That's another great question. I have to go right back and [00:12:54] Speaker A: think about that because that wasn't in your life prep then. [00:12:56] Speaker B: No, it's because I started. I understood I had a lack of self worth and started finding solutions to that. So the solution for my depression in the beginning was essential oils. They helped me with aromatherapy with my emotional state. And from there, because I started understanding the power of alternative medicine, I looked into other areas and I ended up having theta healing, which is a healing experience using. It's an energy work which shifted my subconscious belief of not feeling worthy. And I was actually starting to breathe again. I used to shallow breathe all the time and I had people say to me, why aren't you breathing properly? And I'd be, what do you mean? I'm breathing? I didn't understand. [00:13:37] Speaker A: Okay. [00:13:38] Speaker B: But after that session I was breathing down in my gut and not just into my chest. [00:13:43] Speaker A: I'm questioning myself now. I'm not going. [00:13:46] Speaker B: When you mentioned the anxiety before, this endemic of loneliness is creating more anxiety. [00:13:52] Speaker A: Right. [00:13:52] Speaker B: Everyone's isolating themselves, becoming anxious and not wanting to go outside or look each other in the eye. [00:13:59] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:59] Speaker B: But my journey began with that connection and that connection helps me to release any like more things I was hanging on to. It was preventing me from smiling and saying hello or joining a group or that kind of thing. So definitely everything sort of followed on from there. [00:14:16] Speaker A: Yeah. And you have grown so much. I've known you probably for three years maybe and I've seen so much growth from you. You've gone from a woman who was very dedicated to doing spirituality for yourself and was growing through that, but then now to being offering so much more to so many different people. How does that feel? [00:14:49] Speaker B: I love it. I absolutely love it because I'm supporting the small businesses now as well as the. My community, you know, my actual local community. [00:14:58] Speaker A: Yep. [00:14:59] Speaker B: And that all stemmed from the pandemic. [00:15:01] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:15:02] Speaker B: Because small businesses were suffering. Definitely. And that's when I ran my first Wellness Expo. To support the small businesses. [00:15:09] Speaker A: That's right. [00:15:10] Speaker B: Yeah. And because the intention there was for community, everything just fell into place and we had heaps of people come and it's always a big event. And that, I guess has moved into the Wellness Centre. [00:15:22] Speaker A: It has moved into the Wellness Centre. [00:15:23] Speaker B: I had no intention of having a Wellness Centre last year. [00:15:28] Speaker A: You know what? No, the Wellness Centre. You did the Wellness Expo last year and I remember that Wellness Expo very, very clearly because I was in an extremely bad spot in my life. Something had happened. I'm not going to talk about that, but I wanted to go, but I just didn't know how I could Go. I did go on my own. I walked through the door on my own, which is a massive challenge in itself. But when I walked through that door, there were so many people in there that I knew that I. I don't know how many hugs I had that day. And it was just. I needed it desperately. I needed it desperately. And I'm so, so glad that I went that day because I was part of a community. I was part of something that brought me joy and it was so powerful. So, so powerful. So I appreciate the fact. I'm so glad you did that day. [00:16:26] Speaker B: I do remember you came up and [00:16:27] Speaker A: told me I was in a bad place. [00:16:30] Speaker B: I don't think you shared what. But you were saying you didn't want to come. You're so glad you didn't. [00:16:33] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. And it really was. It was powerful for me. But someone was telling me I should go. Obviously someone was pushing me through that door. And I'm so glad whoever it was that was pushing me through that door, because it was. It was. As soon as I walked through the door, it was a sense of belonging. [00:16:49] Speaker B: Beautiful. [00:16:50] Speaker A: It was really just a sense of belonging. And my anxiety left me at the door pretty much so. Which was great. And that's what it's all about, right? [00:17:00] Speaker B: Yeah, it is. And we've had people come to the expo and they've had to go and they say, I want to come back. It just feels so good here. And some of them. Do they come back a couple hours later. [00:17:09] Speaker A: Yeah, it feels so, so good. And you'll find because. Because spirituality and alternative therapies, there's many, many, many out there. Right. And I think you're not. It's going to take you a while to research what's right for you. [00:17:28] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:29] Speaker A: So many variations, so many variations. And not everything is going to be right for everybody. We're not all the same. So I suggest the research or give it a try. Like, I'm thinking of trying that. You've got a light therapy in there. [00:17:45] Speaker B: The Crystal Light. [00:17:46] Speaker A: The Crystal Light, yeah. I'm thinking of trying that. But it's, it's, it's that. It's that anxiety that. Stopping. Yeah. [00:17:56] Speaker B: Which the Crystal Light Therapy will help you with. [00:17:58] Speaker A: I know, it's catch 22, right? [00:18:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:01] Speaker A: But I. But as a. But there's so, so much out there to try. And spirituality goes in many different forms as well. [00:18:08] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:18:09] Speaker A: Yeah. Back 30 years ago, when you say spirituality, people straight away think of ghosts and spirits. It's more than that. Far more than that. [00:18:19] Speaker B: I love that you bring that up. So literally just did a questionnaire for someone who's researching spiritual workers and one of the questions was what was spirituality before for you and what is it now? And back then it literally was ghosts. [00:18:32] Speaker A: Yeah. Or God. Yes. [00:18:34] Speaker B: Not in believe necessarily. That's all there was. [00:18:37] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:18:38] Speaker B: Now I see it as, oh, higher self, spirit guides, the universal energy conscious collective. You know, there's so many aspects, there's [00:18:48] Speaker A: so many to it and, and people, people can, can poo. Poo it. That's fine. [00:18:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:54] Speaker A: You know, that's their journey. You have probably haven't given a try, by the way, but. But that's okay because it's not for everyone. I just want to explain a couple of other things that happened to me. So going to your expo was a brilliant part of community for me. A couple of other things I want to talk about. We're coming to a couple of your sessions. I did a weekend retreat with you and I thought, I'm not going to get anything out of this. This is just a girl's weekend away. That's fine. But you did some regression meditation and I don't meditate. I don't know how to meditate. I've never done meditation before. I did the meditation regression, thinking I'm just going to lay here and just listen to whatever you're telling me to do. But I went back to. I don't even know what time it was, but I saw myself. I was going to cry. Now I saw myself being stoned in the middle of a stoning by a group of women. I don't know why. Obviously was different from everybody else or I'd done something they weren't. But I saw myself being stoned, which then led me to understand I've been bullied all my life. So I felt that it was sort of a progression of that and I need to break that some way because otherwise it's going to continue. It's going to. Continuing. So for me to break that, [00:20:21] Speaker B: first [00:20:22] Speaker A: of all, I had an experience that I never thought I was going to ever have for a start. Thanks, Deanne. Secondly, it gave me an understanding of my bullying and that I hadn't changed in whatever year that was that happened to me or whatever life that had happened to me. So the only thing that I can do is change it now for someone to stop my spirit for not having it in the future and for me to do that, I'm still working on that. But for me to do that is to understand myself a bit better. But to look Outside the box. We're very much put into a title or a box. I was talking to someone earlier today and it's very easy for medical facilities to title you. I have depression, I have anxiety. And I remember being at the radio here and interviewing people and I was quite open to the fact that, yes, I have anxiety, yes, I have depression, but I was titling myself that I'm far more than that. I'm not. That I am. Yes, I do. I have that illness, but I am not that. So I have to break that cycle. I have to break that cycle. And also so understanding myself, being more confident in myself is my journey of breaking that bullying cycle for my spirit in the future lives to come, Whatever people want to be, generational, Whatever. [00:21:49] Speaker B: Yes. [00:21:49] Speaker A: And I've actually been doing my ancestry recently, and I'm finding that. I find it fascinating, by the way, absolutely fascinating to find out how my ancestors died. I don't know why, but a lot of my ancestors are royalty, English royalty, so they're very historical figures. So I have a lot of information about them, but, like Tower of London stuff and, you know, I find absolutely fascinating. I've gone right off the rails again. But what were we talking about? Oh, yeah, changing. So I found the going to your weekend thing that I had, that regressional meditation. The other thing was the expo. The other one was we recently did a drumming session with you, Deanne, and I've never done anything really like that before. It was a free drumming, which I find much better than a regimented do this, do that. It was a free drumming, so you could do whatever you felt. I was drumming and I think I was using your drum, actually, at this point in time, your medicine drum. And I could hear chanting and I thought it was someone standing outside the door talking, but it was literally someone. It wasn't even. It was like an Indian. Indian chant. American Indian chant. And I swear that I heard that at least three times. I don't know where it comes from or how it gets there or what happens. I don't know whether it's me or whether I'm just being weird or. But I've heard this. People happen to people before. [00:23:24] Speaker B: I've had it happen. [00:23:25] Speaker A: Have you? [00:23:26] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:23:26] Speaker A: Okay. Excuse me. So this is strange, but these things actually happen to me. [00:23:32] Speaker B: That rhythmic drumming takes you into a trance state and that's where we open up to allow whatever to come. I love it. [00:23:41] Speaker A: And I know the drumming thing is dwindled a little bit. I have now recently made my own medicine drum and I won't let anyone touch it. I want her to be my. She's. She's programmed to me. So I say her. Her name's Shiloh and Shiloh. I can't remember what Shiloh means, but anyways, it's a very spiritual thing and her. The picture on it, the skin has come out with a picture and looks like an elephant. It's got the two eyes and also looks like a trunk and they're supposed to be quite spiritual as well, so. So I won't let anyone hit her because it's. It's my. She's my. I don't know, I just feel like it's like a. I birthed her. Do you know what I mean? [00:24:23] Speaker B: It's like that's a community experience in itself. [00:24:27] Speaker A: That experience was amazing. I'm talking too much. You should be talking. That was great. [00:24:32] Speaker B: I'm actually considering doing. Taking the drumming to outdoors on the beach. [00:24:36] Speaker A: I prefer to be outside because it's a nature thing for me. There was one that was supposed to be on last night at South Perth. I've never been to it before but it was cancelled at last minute because that's an outside at the beach type thing. I prefer to be outside because I feel it. It's organic. [00:24:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:24:57] Speaker A: Do you know what I mean? [00:24:58] Speaker B: Beach meditations I've brought back again. And that's a great way for people, I feel, who are a bit nervous about interacting with others. If you're looking for a group to join, start with a meditation group. You don't even have to talk. [00:25:12] Speaker A: Talk. That's perfect, isn't it? Actually perfect. [00:25:15] Speaker B: You can just show up. You just show up, close your eyes and meditate and then you've got that connection to source that I spoke about before as well as being in a group of your community. [00:25:25] Speaker A: That's true. I still struggle with the word meditation. There's so many types because again, back in our day, meditation was, oh, clear your mind. It's far more than that, isn't it? [00:25:41] Speaker B: The most powerful meditation I've done is actually watching my thoughts. How? Well you recognise when a thought pops into your head. What part of you recognize that thought popping into your head? Quite often the thoughts that it's saying. The negative thoughts in your head are typically what most people would call the inner child. Yeah. That's when it's scared, that's when it's saying don't. That's when it's holding you back. And if you imagine trying to push a child away, it's just going to get more determined Right? [00:26:11] Speaker A: Yes. [00:26:11] Speaker B: If you're trying to push your thoughts away, how are you ever going to have a clear mind? It's just going to come back stronger. So for a year, I did this. For a year I meditated for an hour, a day, every day, and that's what I did. I sat there and I just witnessed my thoughts come up and I would acknowledge them and that would eventually go, wow, to the point where my mind did become clear. [00:26:31] Speaker A: I don't think my mind's ever been clear. [00:26:33] Speaker B: I have to do it. Like, I did it for an hour every day. Sometimes the whole hour is like, in my head. Yeah. But it got to the point where all those needless thoughts were gone. [00:26:43] Speaker A: Okay. [00:26:44] Speaker B: I had so much time in my day. Even though I meditated for an hour, I had more time in my day because I wasn't held up with all the distractions in my head and doing things I didn't need to do. [00:26:53] Speaker A: I just. I just can't sit there. I swear I'm ADHD and I haven't been recognised. [00:26:58] Speaker B: That's being a child or the ego. I just try to stop you. [00:27:01] Speaker A: Yeah. I just can't sit for a minute. [00:27:03] Speaker B: That's the other part of anxiety and loneliness and everything else is busyness. Oh, keeping busy, busy, busy because you don't want to sit with yourself. [00:27:13] Speaker A: That's what I'm trying to achieve, is to be busy because I don't want to sit with myself. But that's a good thing for me, though, not a bad thing. [00:27:22] Speaker B: Because of your anxiety? [00:27:23] Speaker A: Because of my anxiety. It's always a catch 22, you know that you, like, you want to sit in a room on your own and you know that you need to be out with people. But I can't get out to see people. Do you know what I mean? Now I'm more like. Normally I would say, oh, you know, I'm not feeling well or I've got a headache. If I've got something planned, I've got to do now. I'll say to people, my anxiety is not good and I just can't make it. I can't be bothered with the lies anymore. If they can't accept me for who I am, why should I be someone and then I'm not? [00:27:54] Speaker B: No, you should totally be yourself. [00:27:55] Speaker A: And so I'm quite honest with it now. Like, anxiety is today. I just can't get out the door. [00:28:01] Speaker B: That's the importance of choosing the right community. [00:28:02] Speaker A: That's correct. [00:28:03] Speaker B: You want people who are like me too. [00:28:05] Speaker A: Trust is so, so big that's why you and I can sit here together, because I know I can trust you. But trust is a massive thing because I've had people in my past where I would say I've got depression, anxiety, and they would also. They'd laugh it off pretty much. And I'd hang onto them and I'd hang onto them and hang onto them and in the end they do something so bad to me that I would just fall in a massive depressive heap. You know, Now I've learned to understand that it's. They're not the people that I need in my life. Probably, though to the extent that I will keep to myself because I don't want that happen, for that to happen again to me. I'm scared. [00:28:43] Speaker B: Is that your past life self attracting [00:28:46] Speaker A: that past and current. Probably past self as in the reason [00:28:50] Speaker B: they're showing up is to. To teach you? [00:28:52] Speaker A: Yeah, probably. I didn't think of it that way. Yeah. Boundaries were never non existent for me. [00:28:58] Speaker B: We're not taught it. We should be. [00:28:59] Speaker A: No. [00:29:00] Speaker B: So, yeah, when it comes to the [00:29:01] Speaker A: community, it's funny because you taught it for a sexual point of view. Yeah. You talked, you talked about boundaries for sexuality, but you're not talked about boundaries as in communication. [00:29:13] Speaker B: Well, we're actually taught the exact opposite by our parents, aren't we? [00:29:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:29:16] Speaker B: And schools. Sit down, shut up, do as I tell you. [00:29:18] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. So, you know, how can I voice my opinion or give you my story when I'm told to be quiet and, you know, you don't have a voice. I do have a voice and. Yeah, so listen to me or go somewhere else type thing. [00:29:34] Speaker B: But. [00:29:34] Speaker A: Yeah. So community to me is. [00:29:41] Speaker B: Community is going from me to we. [00:29:44] Speaker A: Oh, I love that. That's so cool. It's so right. [00:29:49] Speaker B: And the community, if you do have something you enjoy, if you do have something you enjoy, find a group that do that. [00:29:56] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:29:57] Speaker B: And you'll have that. Me too. You have the same shared. [00:30:00] Speaker A: When you've got something that you can talk to about something, when you've got something in common, it's so much easier to get involved. [00:30:06] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:30:07] Speaker A: So much easier to get involved. For example, we went to Metallica concert on the weekend and everyone's there because they love Metallica. So it's so easy to talk to people because you've instantly got that same thing you're there for. So it's very, very easy. And again, if you go to something spiritual, everyone's there for the same reason. So you've got something to talk about immediately. Doesn't matter what their other stories are, you've got that one thing you can connect with. [00:30:34] Speaker B: And things like. I'll use women's circles as an example. And even retreats. You can get people from all walks of life, but they're still there for the same reason. You still have that commonality. Even though one might be 20 and one's 80, different stages of life, different nationalities can have completely different people all in one space that still connect. [00:30:57] Speaker A: I went back to school three years ago and I went to tafe and I was so, so nervous about going back to school in my 50s. I think everyone's going to be there. They're so young. And I have been in the education department for a very long time. Overthinking, as I always do, put myself into absolute tizzy. Walked in the door. We're all there for the same reason. Didn't matter whether he was. I actually. My best mate in There was a 17 year old. We were there for the same reason. It didn't matter who you were. And it was beautiful, absolutely beautiful. And I don't know why I overthink terribly even coming in today. I overthought before I even walked through the door. But everything's fine. I can't help it. [00:31:37] Speaker B: Yeah. I think it's important to have those different ages because there's different life experiences. Like kids teach us as much as we teach them. As a parent. [00:31:44] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:31:45] Speaker B: And when I was doing the community circles during the pandemics and stuff on the beach, one older woman was driving all the way down from up in the hills for it and she was. I think she's in her 70s and she became like our matriarch of the circle, you know? [00:31:59] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:32:00] Speaker B: So, yeah, we need all of it. [00:32:03] Speaker A: I. In my past, I have experienced very negative things from women. I find it difficult to be around women. [00:32:14] Speaker B: Same. Really? Yeah. I think that's initially why I started doing women's circles. Really. Because I felt a need to connect with other women. [00:32:22] Speaker A: That's why I haven't come. [00:32:23] Speaker B: No. [00:32:23] Speaker A: Initially, no. That's why I haven't come, because I don't. I'm scared. [00:32:27] Speaker B: I. In high school, I reverted to male friends. [00:32:30] Speaker A: Yes. And I've always. [00:32:31] Speaker B: And ever since then. Male dominated industries. Always. [00:32:34] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [00:32:35] Speaker B: But I got to this point where I realized I need to create a connection there. [00:32:39] Speaker A: Wow. [00:32:39] Speaker B: Started the circles for that reason. [00:32:41] Speaker A: Okay. [00:32:42] Speaker B: But then I continued them because I was struggle with that and I saw a need. [00:32:46] Speaker A: I haven't been to one of your. I wanted to go, but I just have that in that niggling thing on my shoulder, saying, they're bitches. [00:32:55] Speaker B: I go through phases with the circles. They're not constant. [00:32:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:32:58] Speaker B: When I feel the need, I bring them back and. Yeah, yeah. But there's. There's other people running women's circles from my center, so. [00:33:05] Speaker A: Oh, okay. Again, being in nature would be better for those. [00:33:08] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:09] Speaker A: Being in swear walls. Yeah. [00:33:11] Speaker B: Especially with anxiety, definitely. Because you're grounding. Literally. [00:33:14] Speaker A: I actually found a great spot for drumming. Do you know Bell Park? Is it Bell Park, Bold Park, Quinana? No, it's near the CSIRO or whatever it is in the very end. There's a beautiful park there. It's right. The ocean's right there. It's quiet. You can get a few homeless in there. It depends what time you're there, but it's a beautiful spot. I reckon that would be a great spot. [00:33:44] Speaker B: I'm playing on my mind to do [00:33:45] Speaker A: one over because it's away from any housing as well. I think that would be great. [00:33:49] Speaker B: That's important. [00:33:50] Speaker A: It's very important. Look at Bold park and Queen. But I would be very much involved in. I would love to be involved in that because, as I said, I birthed this drum and I used it yesterday, but it's hard because I'm in such a small house that everyone can hear. I don't care. [00:34:05] Speaker B: That's the whole reason I started those drumming groups, was because we have drums at home we're not using. [00:34:09] Speaker A: I know. [00:34:11] Speaker B: As you mentioned, I don't want to make it structured either. We just want to play our drums. [00:34:15] Speaker A: We don't want to be told about it. I don't want to be able to beat it in the form that I need to be today. It all fits together anyway. [00:34:21] Speaker B: It does. [00:34:22] Speaker A: But I don't want someone telling me that I've got to slap it and I've got to hit it, and then I've got to slap it and I've got to hit it, and then two slaps, one hit. I don't want that. [00:34:28] Speaker B: And again, different levels of experience there, don't you? [00:34:31] Speaker A: Yeah, I did enjoy that. Then I went away on holidays, and then it sort of dwindled out a little bit. [00:34:36] Speaker B: Your numbers weren't showing up and that. [00:34:38] Speaker A: And that's, you know, that was understandable because you're in a situation where you've got to pay for rent as well, so you know that that happens. But outside could be a different story. Where else do we want to go with this? What else did I want to think about? [00:34:55] Speaker B: Oh. [00:34:56] Speaker A: Another experience that happened to me was when I was with, you know, Tim. Right. I won't talk about surnames. Tim did a course at your center. [00:35:09] Speaker B: Breath work. [00:35:11] Speaker A: It was. What? [00:35:11] Speaker B: Breath work. [00:35:12] Speaker A: Breath work, yeah. No, no. I've never done it before. Never done it before. So I was researching and thinking, I'll do the same thing. So I went in there thinking, nothing's gonna happen. Went in there, did breath work, and he was talking about childhood. And I could see myself because he was talking about. See yourself in a field of flowers. I could see myself in a field of flowers. I could see. It's just. I can't explain it. It's just a really strange position that you don't think you're gonna be in. Yeah, I know, but, you know, is it. [00:35:42] Speaker B: I don't know, lots of forms. [00:35:45] Speaker A: It was a. You get scared because you think, what the hell's that? You know, it's something totally out of your normal thoughts or feelings. It's just so I've had something happen to me in each of these things that I've done. Whether it's scary or not, I don't know. How you perceive them is also a different story because I could take it very negatively, particularly with the stoning thing, or I can learn from it. Do you know what I mean? [00:36:14] Speaker B: I think things show up when you're ready for them. [00:36:16] Speaker A: Yeah, maybe so. [00:36:18] Speaker B: I don't think you're ever given something you couldn't do something with. [00:36:21] Speaker A: Yeah, maybe so. [00:36:23] Speaker B: Like when I was practicing that, meditating for an hour a day, every day, I had a suppressed memory come up from my childhood, which I won't divulge. [00:36:30] Speaker A: No, no, no, no. [00:36:31] Speaker B: Trigger people. But I'd done so much work on myself, I was in a space ready to handle that. That's interesting, because when you're. Specifically when you're super young, we can't handle much of anything. Gets pushed away, pushed down, pushed down. Pushed down and still there in our bodies, which is where breath work is amazing because you can release stuff from your body, but nothing will come up unless you're ready for it. So when things do come up, it's time to take action. Like you've done with that past life. [00:37:01] Speaker A: Yeah. Regression. Yeah. [00:37:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:04] Speaker A: Interesting thought. And at the time, I was a bit shocked, I think. Shocked. I had a lot of tears. I remember crying when that happened. [00:37:15] Speaker B: See, that's released. Tears are released. [00:37:16] Speaker A: It's released. Yeah. So it was. It was a little. It was a strange feeling because I've never been put in that situation. Before it was a very strange feeling. [00:37:26] Speaker B: And the beauty again of the breathwork group sessions is you're not alone and [00:37:31] Speaker A: you don't have to talk to people next to you because you're there just doing your breath work. Anyway. [00:37:34] Speaker B: Yeah, so. So, yeah, so you're being supported and you're with like minded people. [00:37:38] Speaker A: And it's funny because I went to get to the hairdresser's not long ago and the lady, that hairdresser in there, she said, oh, you went to Tim's breathwork thing. I'm like, oh, geez. Because I didn't take any notice of who was in there. I was just there doing my thing. I was sort of hiding myself doing my thing. But she remembered who I was. [00:37:52] Speaker B: Hairdressers are counselors. [00:37:54] Speaker A: Yeah, true, true. They're like barmy. They are, they are definitely. Yeah. [00:38:00] Speaker B: That's a community connection, Right? [00:38:02] Speaker A: Exactly, exactly, exactly. So yeah, so that's what community is. But I think it's. Do you think it's getting worse? [00:38:11] Speaker B: Yeah. That's why we've got a loneliness endemic. [00:38:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:38:13] Speaker B: How can we fix that community? [00:38:15] Speaker A: How can we fix that? [00:38:17] Speaker B: Back to what I said before. We need to shift the me into we. The people are so self centered now. [00:38:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:38:24] Speaker B: That they're separating themselves further. [00:38:26] Speaker A: Even, even not everybody, even family orientated. Like back, back, you know, back originally in the day, we used to. They used to have family dinners and stuff and all that sort of thing on Sundays. My family, my immediate family, my kids, we have dinner every Sunday. We make sure we always have dinner every Sunday. And this only happened in the last year because I felt like we were just disconnecting and it was a way for us. Okay. You don't talk to each other all week, that's fine because we're all very busy. But we can catch up on that one day and it might only be two hours, eat and leave. That's totally fine. But there's still a connection there. So we're back to doing that. But back in the day you used to always have a big family roast. [00:39:08] Speaker B: These days people sit in front of the TV and have their dinner. [00:39:11] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I never do that. We always sit at the table. [00:39:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:39:17] Speaker A: Because you go to some places, they don't even have a dining table. What I've always said at the time, my parents, we've always sat at the table, so. [00:39:25] Speaker B: Or you have to sit and eat and you know, be quiet. [00:39:27] Speaker A: Yeah. That was a big thing. [00:39:30] Speaker B: What's the point? [00:39:30] Speaker A: Yeah, what's the point? Yeah, you're true. But I think we definitely. And family, culturally, in some families are very, very important. They'll all live together in the same home, which is great. [00:39:44] Speaker B: When I went to Borneo with Greenpeace back in 2012, I want to say they have long houses there, so the bigger the family gets, the more they add on to the house. So you've got every generation. [00:39:58] Speaker A: Wow. [00:39:58] Speaker B: All in one home. [00:40:00] Speaker A: Wow. That's amazing. I think it's also going back to the ancestor thing because we're not a close family. Over the years, when I say close, we are a close family, but it gets. We get separated due to distance or whatever the reason is. But I've lost that information from my ancestors. I've lost those stories which I'm now searching for, but I'm not going to get all the information that I want. [00:40:26] Speaker B: That's how information was communicated way back. [00:40:28] Speaker A: Exactly. Storytelling. [00:40:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:40:31] Speaker A: So we're losing that a lot. And with the ancestor thing, I'm trying to put as much information about me as possible, all the people that I know that I possibly can for future generations to be able to see exactly who we were. Because it's all very well that we know, you know, when you die, when you. When you're born, when you died, where you lived, we'll get that information. Interestingly, too, ancestry information is all the. Either male or female. It's not in between. So how are you going to explain to your generations ahead that you were transgender or. Yeah, interesting. It's just male, female. [00:41:13] Speaker B: That's historical too. Right? Yeah, it is. Ancient Egypt. [00:41:16] Speaker A: Yes. It's part of who you are. So. Yeah, I thought that was quite interesting. Male or female. Yeah. But, yeah. So I don't know what the answer is. [00:41:28] Speaker B: See, there's those types of communities, too. Right. [00:41:31] Speaker A: Yeah. Of course, you think of anything and you'll find something out there. [00:41:38] Speaker B: And quite often that's why groups are created, because they can't find. [00:41:40] Speaker A: They can't find. So they'll bring it in, which is great. [00:41:45] Speaker B: Did you have that capacity to do that? That's wonderful. [00:41:47] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. What's next for you? [00:41:50] Speaker B: Oh, gosh. Well, I got an email yesterday at the centre from a commercial property owner in Queensland asking if I was ready to expand. [00:41:59] Speaker A: Get out. Are you kidding? [00:42:01] Speaker B: I'm dead set. Sarah. [00:42:03] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:42:04] Speaker B: And I just thought, is this a joke? It's only open in May. Jesus, what are we in November? [00:42:09] Speaker A: Really? Only May? [00:42:10] Speaker B: Yeah. Bloody hell. [00:42:12] Speaker A: You've gone well and now you go to Queensland. [00:42:17] Speaker B: And I thanked her for her email and I said, I'm still working this one out. I'm in no position to. But that is the plan. That's why I went. Not for profit. So any excessive profits could go in creating another one. [00:42:29] Speaker A: Ah, so that you do want to expand? [00:42:31] Speaker B: If it should become available to me, sure. I mean, I didn't even plan on this one. It was obviously needed. [00:42:38] Speaker A: Definitely. And it's. It's very well perceived. And I must say your social media is awesome because you're out there all the time. Like I see you all the time. [00:42:47] Speaker B: There's plenty of people still don't know exist, though it's still early days. [00:42:51] Speaker A: You're out there, I see you all the time. Which is great. [00:42:54] Speaker B: I need to be for the center's sake. But not everyone's on social media. True, true. [00:42:58] Speaker A: And everyone uses Facebook either. I'm just talking about Facebook. [00:43:00] Speaker B: So, yeah, we've had people walk in who aren't even on, don't even use the Internet. [00:43:05] Speaker A: Wow. [00:43:06] Speaker B: So. Which is incredible in this day and age. [00:43:08] Speaker A: It is incredible. I wish I was like that. [00:43:10] Speaker B: So I've had to find other ways to reach people. So we are members with Tourism Rockingham, so our fires and things are at the visitor's centre. And I had a real estate approach us, they have portfolios, they give to people when they visit, home opens or auctions. And we'll be in there. So people coming into the area or thinking about coming into the area will find out about us. [00:43:31] Speaker A: Yes, That's a really good idea. [00:43:32] Speaker B: There's not so many ways you can do it without social media now. You can't put posters up. You can't. [00:43:37] Speaker A: No, it's hard. [00:43:39] Speaker B: How do you. [00:43:40] Speaker A: How do you. I don't know. Yeah, interesting. [00:43:43] Speaker B: So we've done all the things, which is a tip to your listeners. If they're trying to find something, you probably do need to look on the Internet. [00:43:52] Speaker A: You do, unfortunately. [00:43:53] Speaker B: Or at least social media. [00:43:55] Speaker A: Or ask someone, if you don't have Internet, for someone to look it for you. [00:43:57] Speaker B: Yeah. Or go into your local visitor centre or the library. [00:44:03] Speaker A: If you don't have a computer at home or a phone at home, you can use the library and use Google, search through the library, council buildings, word of mouth. But there's something there for everyone. So if you're weird and wonderful and you've got a weird and wonderful idea and you can't find it. Start it. Yes, start it. And you won't regret it because you will find the people that you need to be around. [00:44:26] Speaker B: That's right. [00:44:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:44:27] Speaker B: We need. We need community We're a tribal being, [00:44:31] Speaker A: and we're not all in that one box. So there's something out there for everybody. [00:44:35] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:44:36] Speaker A: And you will find your weird and wonderful community if you put the word out. [00:44:42] Speaker B: Turn your me into we. [00:44:43] Speaker A: Turn your me into. I love that. [00:44:45] Speaker B: Me into we. [00:44:46] Speaker A: I do love that. Should be a tattoo. I still haven't done that tattoo for ipl. Anyway, we're gonna close it off. Is there anything else you want to bring into the conversation before we say goodbye? [00:45:01] Speaker B: Just know that there is people out there for you. You aren't alone. [00:45:05] Speaker A: Definitely. You are not alone, definitely. And there's people out there that are feeling the same way as you're feeling. They're feeling anxious, they're feeling lonely, they're feeling separated, alone. [00:45:19] Speaker B: It's an endemic. [00:45:21] Speaker A: So bring those same people together in some way or another. Smile, smile. Say hello. It might just be the best thing that that person's heard for their week, their year. [00:45:34] Speaker B: Something I shared with the women who attended my last retreat was when. Because people say, hey, how are you? And you just go, oh, yeah. It's not even a real conversation. It's not a real conversation. So I said, I made it a thing at the retreat and hopefully they took it home with them to do as well. Is when someone says, how are you today? So about a six, I reckon. [00:45:54] Speaker A: Oh, okay. [00:45:55] Speaker B: So you're actually thinking. You don't have to say. I feel. [00:45:58] Speaker A: It's just not a response. [00:45:59] Speaker B: Yeah. It's just you give a number and then we would say, oh, okay. Well, what would it take to make you an eight? [00:46:05] Speaker A: Oh, I like that. [00:46:06] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:46:06] Speaker A: Usually I say, you know, it's the word. Are you okay? And people will go, yeah, right, yeah. Then I'll usually say, yeah, but are you really okay? [00:46:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:46:15] Speaker A: Then they'll have to go, well, actually, I'm all right, but, yeah, but, yeah, so the. Having the. [00:46:21] Speaker B: I think the number creates a call. [00:46:23] Speaker A: Yeah, it does. It takes it. It opens it up even more. So that's really good idea. Great. Thanks, Deanne. [00:46:28] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:46:29] Speaker A: Lovely to catch up with you again. [00:46:30] Speaker B: Likewise. [00:46:31] Speaker A: Nice to see you in the IPL podcast studio. This is my second day of podcasting here. [00:46:35] Speaker B: Congratulations. [00:46:36] Speaker A: Thank you. Anyone else who would like to come into IPL Radio for podcasting? To communicate with us would be great. Catch us all on Facebook. We're on Spotify. We're on YouTube. This will go probably through to you. No, it'll go through Spotify. So we can catch up with Deanne on Spotify once it's released. Thanks. For coming in. Cheers, everybody. You've been listening to IPL Radio Mish on Good Vibrations coming to you from Rockingham IPL Radio.